You’re Not Trapped, You’ve Just Learned to Feel That Way
- dishatolife
- Jul 17
- 2 min read
Sometimes, the only thing standing between you and change is a belief you didn’t even choose. That weight on your shoulders? It’s not always real; it’s a feeling shaped by years of silent messaging, unspoken rules, and outdated stories about who you’re allowed to be.
Feeling Stuck Isn’t Always the Truth It’s a Learned Response
One of the most common phrases I hear in therapy is, “I feel stuck.” Whether it’s in a job, a relationship, or a sense of self, that feeling is heavy. But what’s powerful to know is this: feeling stuck doesn’t mean you are stuck.
Your brain creates patterns based on what it learns over time. If you’ve heard “don’t be too ambitious,” or “this is just how things are,” your mind eventually turns those words into barriers. And those barriers start to feel like walls.
Where Does That Learned Trapped Feeling Come From?
Often, these mental blocks come from:
Childhood conditioning: Maybe you were told to play it safe or not to "dream too big."
Repeated rejection or failure: Over time, you start to believe trying isn’t worth it.
Cultural or social expectations: Messages like “this is what success looks like” or “you should be grateful” can create invisible pressure.
These patterns settle in. They feel familiar, even when they hurt.
The Psychology Behind Why You Stop Trying
Psychologist Martin Seligman introduced the concept of learned helplessness, where people stop trying after repeated setbacks, even if they can succeed later. Your brain starts protecting you from future disappointment by convincing you it’s not even worth a shot.
You say, “Why try? Nothing will change.” But that voice isn’t always right. It’s just the loudest.
Spot the Trap and Step Out
Start noticing those subtle thoughts:
“I can’t change this.”
“This is just who I am.”
“It’s too late.”
Ask yourself: Is this fact or fear? You might be surprised how often it’s the latter.
How to Unlearn the Lie
The great news? Beliefs can be reprogrammed.
Challenge old thoughts: If a voice says, “You’re not enough,” ask, “Says who?”
Take micro-steps: One small act of courage like applying for that job or setting a boundary, can create momentum.
Reframe the narrative: Instead of “I’m stuck,” say, “I’m learning to move differently.”
Supportive therapy, journaling, or simply talking to someone who believes in you can accelerate this process.
Final Thought: You’re Free, You Just Forgot
If no one has told you today, you are capable. You are worthy. And no, you’re not actually stuck. You’re standing in a wide-open space, waiting to rewrite the story.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Start by naming one belief that’s been holding you back and replace it with a new, empowering truth. Then share it with someone you trust, or write it in your journal. If you're seeking guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. You don’t have to walk this path alone.
