The Real Failure Isn’t Failing - It’s Not Trying |

Trying vs. Not Trying

Trying, even when you might fail, is grounded in action and courage. It acknowledges uncertainty but still moves forward. For example, “I don’t know if this will work, but I’ll give it my best shot.”

Not trying, on the other hand, protects your ego in the short term. It says, “I didn’t fail; I didn’t even attempt it.” While it might feel safe, it often becomes a self-imposed limitation, keeping potential unrealised and dreams untested.

The Comfort of “I Didn’t Try”

We live in a culture that glorifies success and results. Social media often showcases achievements, making inaction feel like failure before you even start. To avoid shame or disappointment, many people choose inaction over risk.

Imagine thinking, “I could have started that business, written that book, or asked them out, but I didn’t.” It feels safe in the moment, but the truth is, it also closes doors to growth, learning, and fulfilment. Not trying may protect your ego today, but it often breeds regret tomorrow.

Everyday Situations Where the Difference Matters

The gap between trying and avoiding shows up everywhere:

•  At work: Taking on a challenging project feels risky, but not trying guarantees no learning or recognition.

•  With friends or relationships: Reaching out, expressing feelings, or apologising may feel vulnerable, but inaction often leaves bonds unhealed.

•  With yourself: Attempting a new hobby, skill, or challenge, even imperfectly, teaches resilience. Avoiding it keeps you stagnant.

Why Trying Matters and Avoiding Doesn’t

Trying, even if you fail, builds experience, confidence, and self-trust. It shows that you value growth over comfort. Failure is temporary and informative; inaction is permanent and often regretful.

Avoiding attempts might feel like protecting yourself from embarrassment, but it often does the opposite: it limits your potential, reinforces fear, and diminishes self-belief. Courage doesn’t mean guaranteed success; it means showing up despite uncertainty.

How to Shift From Avoidance to Action

If you want to stop hiding behind “I could have” thinking, try these steps:

•  Reframe failure: Focus on learning, not perfection.

•  Take micro-steps: Small actions reduce overwhelm and build confidence.

•  Challenge the “safe excuse”: Ask yourself, “What’s worse- trying and failing or never knowing?”

•  Celebrate effort: Reward yourself for showing up, regardless of outcome.

•  Visualise regret: Imagine looking back and never attempting, and use that as motivation.

A Note to Self – The Real Meaning of Failure - (The Real Failure Isn’t Failing - It’s Not Trying)

You don’t need to avoid risk to protect your ego. Real growth comes from attempting, failing, and learning, not from standing still. Avoidance says, “I might fail, so I won’t try.” Action whispers, “I don’t know if it will work, but I’ll give it a shot.”

One denies potential; the other honours it. When you choose to try, you open the door to possibility, confidence, and meaningful progress. Not trying may feel safe today, but trying even imperfectly builds the foundation for a life you won’t regret. (The Real Failure Isn’t Failing - It’s Not Trying)